Your CV And Your Genitals – How To Lose Your Dream Job

Lee Dempster

20th June 2017

“Given what we have found out, we are now retracting our offer to you”, ……and poof…up goes your career opportunity in smoke.

Interestingly this is happening more than ever before, and there are two main reasons:

1)      You have made up something on your CV

2)      You have a social media presence that is well….inappropriate!

Now the details on your CV may be inaccurate because of a genuine oversight, or an embellishment, or indeed just totally made up – but more companies than ever before are doing a full screening check on what you have written.

You may not of thought about your social media profile, but it is now commonplace for a company to check if the upstanding citizen they met in the interview process is just that – or are they really just about to hire a partying beer monster that loves to posts inappropriate videos and pictures to shock their mates

So here are some helpful hints and tips to stop you blowing that job opportunity of a lifetime

Your CV
1)      Education and grades. If you have written it down then it can be checked, so don’t guess or make it up. You may feel your effort deserved a 2:1 degree, unfortunately your exam board has to agree. Companies check this – a lot!

2)      Job Title. I would really like to be called “Emperor” but that is not my actual job. Your job title is the role written into your employment contract and will be what is given on a reference. If it is different, companies question what else on your work history could be inaccurate.

3)      Actual dates of employment. Working from December 2016 to February 2017 is 3 months, as opposed to saying 2016-2017 which intimates a much longer tenure. Nobody wants to show employment gaps but this is one of the easiest checks to make. You are deliberately bending the truth so what impression do you think this gives a potential employer?

4)      Details of your experience. There are two things here. Very few people are masters of many skills so listing 20 technologies you are expert in is asking for trouble. Equally, just because you can order a few beers in Spanish, it doesn’t mean you have Spanish as a language. These may look good on paper and may well open a door for you, but down the line it is also likely to get the door slammed right back in your face.

5)      Filling in gaps in your employment with “travelling” and “working in the family business” will often be met with a desire to have you prove it. Seriously, some companies will ask for flight tickets and references!

Your Social Media presence
1)   Take a quick look across your social media profiles – would you hire you based on what you see?

2)   You think it’s private – is there anyone in the company you want to work with that is in your contacts? Companies ask employees to help them check, so if your boys tour of Thailand is inappropriate, then do something about it.

3)   Righteous rants or drunken words of wisdom posted late night after the pub is like the rule about drunk dialling your ex – don’t do it! It is amazing how often this can happen on a leaving drinks only for your new employer to see it. If you really feel the urge to use your phone drunk then try sobering up by hitting yourself over the head with it.

4)      What you post is never private even when you delete it. Not only can some companies dig through your social history, but you never know who in your 762 Facebook friends took a screen capture and reposted. If you are planning a job move in the future, keep your online presence in order now – at least you can blame previous posts on a different you!

5)      Unless you are applying to Pornhub, pictures of your genitals. No! Never!